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Book Jon Moxley’s AEW World Championship Reign - Part 3: Blood Feuds, Ancient and Modern

Jon Moxley has now surpassed a year as AEW World Champion and what a 365 days. Last time we started with him and Fénix doing battle after an intense build, seeing Kurt Angle get involved at one point. They had a great bout that ended in the death of Death Triangle, after Pentagon Jr. turned on his brother out of a cocktail of feelings: hate, jealously, anger, spite and more. This led us into Full Gear, where Pac also got involved and ended the 4 month saga between Jon Moxley and Death Triangle with a huge Four-way main event between everyone, seeing Jon retain his title.
We then learned more about Moxley’s year in NJPW - how he lost his IWGP United States Championship to Will Ospreay early in the year and then went on hiatus to pursue glory in AEW. Hiromu Takahashi would soon become the first non-Gaijin to win the title and go into Power Struggle with the title. After a successful defence against Juice Robinson, Jon Moxley would challenge Hiromu to a Winner Takes All Match with both their titles on the line at Wrestle Kingdom 15. This match would happen, with Moxley winning and entering his third reign with the title.
Lastly was Revolution where the third instalment of the Omega/Moxley series took place - and this time it was a 30-minute Iron Man Match. Kenny had become an ultra mega dick heel after Full Gear; refusing to speak anything but Japanese, having a geeky translator by his side at all times, having burned every bridge he crossed and lambasting in it. But there was an air of trade by about it - Kenny no longer had any friends. This was made present have he snapped on Jon when they tagged together. Jon exposes that Riho, Nakazawa, Page, The Bucks - not even Ibushi were his friends anymore. They fought to a 2-2 draw, with Jon only barely scratching out the win. This is the set up for where we begin now...
Book Jon Moxley’s AEW World Championship Reign - Part 3: Blood Feuds, Ancient and Modern
Revolution is in the rear view mirror but Kenny Omega will not rest until this injustice is righted. Jon barely won at a Revolution - only winning by a draw and having to scrape that out anyways. Omega is back to talking in English because he doesn’t like his translator anymore - and hits the One Winged Angel on him. Kenny wants to beat Moxley fair and square. Jon tells him next week he won’t be getting a singles match for the title, so what’s he gonna get? A tag match? Not like he has any friends who will want to help him out. Omega interrupts him on that. “Funny you say, Jon. I think you’re forgetting I’m the EVP around here, and I can make stuff happen. I can make myself some new friends. Would you like to meet them?” That’s when Kip Sabian and Miro run down to the ring and assault Jon.
A Blood and Guts Match is confirmed for the March 31 edition of Dynamite, between Team Moxley and Team Omega. It will be four-on-four, both guys need to fill out their squads for then. With two weeks left of Dynamites to go before the big fight, Miro and Moxley fight. Jon scrapes out a win after Darby Allin skates down to his rescue to prevent Kip Sabian from interfering. Will Hobbs soon joins the fray to take down Miro. It’s now three men on either side, and the go home week we will discover both teams fourth men. Kenny hyped up his fourth man as “The New Muscle”. He tells Jon he may not know him right now, but reeeaaal soon he will. Mox retorts that his fourth man is someone Kenny knows very well. In the main event both teams will have a contract signing and reveal their fourth men.
Moxley’s is Adam Page, who comes out and assaults Omega with words. Omega’s man does an assault too, but is more a psychical one. “Meet Schaff, ladies and gentlemen!” Kenny declares before a giant man sprints down the ring and wrecks SHIT UP. SCHAFF HAS ARRIVED TO AEW! So it’s set: Team Moxley (Adam Page, Darby Allin, Jon Moxley and Will Hobbs) vs. Team Omega (Kenny Omega, Kip Sabian, Miro and Schaff) - Blood and Guts Match. Last year saw Omega and Page compete, but they had a rough time of it. This year starts off as Omega/Moxley, and soon Schaff joins the fray. Darby Allin comes to the rescue though. Then Kip, then Hangman. Lastly are the two big guys: Will Hobbs and Miro. This is where we enter The Match Beyond. Chaos ensues; including a spot of Darby doing a Coffin Drop off the roof into everyone. In the end Omega hits a Super One Winged Angel on Moxley, but hurts himself in the process and can’t cover. Instead Kip Sabian does it, and gets the win for his team.
Kip Sabian is now in line for an AEW World Championship match, but says he doesn’t want it - he just cares about his TNT Championship. This leaves the AEW World Champion #1 Contender a mystery, but it will be solved with a Casino Ladder Match on Dynamite. April 14 is when it’s announced, and we immediately get people confirmed. Schaff and Miro will take part due to both being on the winning team, as well as some guys high up on the rankings in Pentagon Jr, MJF and Brian Cage. Shawn Spears will represent The Four Horseman, Brodie Lee representing The Dark Order and Kenny Omega for nearly getting the pin. The ninth man is of course a mystery. The week before the match on April 28, Moxley runs down every competitor and all their flaws. The ninth man is the returning Fénix! Coming back from injury after having his arm broken for a second time by Pentagon Jr.
MJF wins the match with some help from Wardlow, and heads into May as the #1 Contender. There’s four weeks of Dynamite let until Double or Nothing, and I would keep a lot of the actual MJF/Moxley build the same. You can’t do the whole presidential campaign shtick since there would be no election in May 2021, but you can still do MJF petitioning that he the rightful man to lead the charge of AEW for the next 25 years - not a scrub like Jon. Jon takes offence to this, and calls out MJF as a man who doesn’t know a thing about getting extreme, because all he knows is being privileged and being protected by a gush of wind. May 19 episode of Dynamite then is where we see MJF commit a brutal assault on Jon, busting him open and flogging him with a belt. This leaves Jon’s back blistered and bruised. The go home week is the same contract signing, but they agree to a Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match - a match especially designed by Jon to be the most violent match AEW has ever seen. MJF agrees to compete in it. “We didn’t even need to break the table” says Jon.
Double or Nothing 2021:
Jon Moxley vs. Maxwell Jacob Friedman - Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match for the AEW World Championship
Double or Nothing has been an incredible show so far, with the Dallas crowd have been loving it all night. We’ve reached our main event, and Maxwell Jacob Friedman walks out first as the challenger. He comes out with his private lawyer, Mark Sterling, as well as his family. We see his millionaire parents in the front row, with them isolated from the fans as they don’t want to be near lesser people. Moxley meanwhile walks out, but when he reaches the guardrail he sits down beside MJF’s parents to get a picture. Mox then says he’s got his own buddy - AND OUT COMES NICK GAGE!! He was meant to be in the All Out Casino Battle Royale, but was injured. I’d love him in AEW but the TNT executives would probably run for their lives at the sight of him with an open mic, so here he is supporting his buddy. Gage takes MJF’s parents seats, who walk away and prefer to stand than sit beside him.
MJF and Moxley both step inside through the door, and it is then locked shut, with chains wrapped around to prevent no escape. As well as that, barbed wire is wrapped around the top of the cage walls. The bell is rung but neither attack each other straight away. They take a moment to embrace where they are. No escape, in a cage of death. On the floor beside them is a barbed wire board, and in each corner is a pane of glass. Another barbed wire board is leaning against the ropes, and on the opposite side is a board of mouse traps. A bag of thumbtacks is on the floor, a chainlink of chairs is against the wall, and various light tubes are stuck to the walls. They both walk around and look at everything, taking in what they’ve signed up for. MJF looks scared, but for the first time we’ve ever seen - so does Jon Moxley.
They start off with a collar and elbow, which MJF gets into a headlock. He Irish whips Moxley out to the ropes, who rebounds but is caught with a shoulder block. MJF then drops and gets him in another headlock, which he gets into a head scissors. Moxley escapes and they’re back to their feet, which is then put into a another collar and elbow. This time Jon slips behind into a waistlock, and slams him down! Then Mox gets in his first headlock. Eventually he’s had enough and lifts MJF UP INTO A MOXICITY ONTO THE BARBED WIRE BOARD. He walks over to the cameraman outside the door and tells him “it’s time for some fucking garbage wrestling.” He then grabs a light tube off the wall and advances towards a writhing Friedman.
He pulls the light tube up and goes to smash it down, but FRIEDMAN WITH A LOW BLOW!! HE SPITS IN JONS FACE!! Jon is blinded and stumbles backwards. He doesn’t seem the LIGHT TUBE BEING SMASHED OVER HIS HEAD!! Jon then falls to the floor as MJF is now on top. JR slowly realises “we’ve only ever seen Maxwell as the arrogant, cocky and brash douchehead- but we have never seen him go to such extreme places. He has this dark place in his mind that he goes to, and when there’s no escape in this cage there’s no escape from that place in his mind.” Mox falls back to a glass window but doesn’t fall through. Jon runs forward at MJF, and they start to trade trying to snatch the light tube remains. Eventually MJF gets hold and SMASHES IT OVER MOX’S BACK, AND THEN SMASHES THE TWO LEFTOVER REMAINS INTO HIS HEAD!! Jon falls in a heap.
MJF GOES FOR A FRIEDMAN ARMBAR SPECIAL BUT MOX ROLLS OUT INTO HIS OWN!! They lay in the pile of glass as Mox wrenches the hold. MJF escapes and scurries for the ropes. MOX THEN HITS HIM WITH A DROPKICK INTO THE CHAINLINK CHAIRS!! He tries MJF’s arms up in the ropes to hold him still, and STARTS TO SWING THE LINK OF CHAIRS AGAINST MJF. He keeps going and going, making MJF feel how he did during that flogging. He eventually lets go after 10, and MJF falls to the floor with a bloody face. Moxley seems happy with his work and wipes some of MJF’s blood onto his own face. Nick Gage passes him some spikes through the cage gaps, and shoves a baseball bat in too. Wardlow runs out to fight with Gage, WHO HITS HIM WITH A PILEDRIVER ONTO THE OUTSIDE!! Meanwhile inside the ring, MJF sets up both barbed wire boards on top of each other. MJF THEN HITS MOX WITH A DOUBLE CROSS ONTO THE BARBED WIRE PILE!!!! 1...............2...........KICK OUT!!!
MJF grabs a spike and the bat and shouts at Nick Gage, telling him to try and save his friend. He places the spike on Mox’s forehead, and TAPS THE SPIKE WITH HIS BAT!! Mox’s is now gushing and his face is painted with a crimson mask. MJF THEN SEES NICK GAGE CLIMBING UP THE SIDE OF THE CAGE!! He climbs up and the two try and knock each other off, but can’t get past the barbed wire mesh. The distraction is enough that Moxley can set up the board of mouse traps below them. He climbs up and starts to bang his fist against MJF’s back. MJF KNOCKS MOXLEY OFF, AND GOES FOR A SWANTON BOMB!! HE DIVES - BUT MOXLEY MOVES OUT THE WAY!!! MJF CRASHES DOWN ONTO THE BOARD OF MOUSE TRAPS!! MOXLEY COVERS!! 1.............2.........KICK OUT!!!!
Mox grabs the chainlink chairs and snips two off, and folds them upright. He places a glass sheet across the seats of them, and then another on top of that across the handles. He brings MJF over to try and HIT A SUPER PARADIGM SHIFT THROUGH THE GLASS TOWER! MJF STOPS HIM, AND GOES FOR A BACK BODY DROP!! MOXLEY STOPS, AND STARTS TO CLIMB UP THE CAGE WALL! MJF CLIMBS AFTER HIM!! SUPER SOUTH HAMPTONS PLUNGE FROM THE CAGE WALL THROUGH THE STACK OF WINDOWS!!!! HE THEN CLIMBS UP FOR A SWANTON BOMB TO FINISH IT!! With blood and glass everywhere, MJF is going to become the AEW World Champion. BUT THEN MOXLEY GETS UP!! MJF TRIES TO KICK HIM IN THE HEAD TO KNOCK HIM OFF! MOXLEY CROTCHES MJF!! Moxley meanwhile grabs the remaining two glass sheets, and all the light tubes. He stacks them on top to make a glass catastrophe. MJF KICKS MOXLEY IN THE HEAD AGAIN AND STARTS TO CLIMB THE SIDE OF THE CAGE WALL!! MOXLEY FOLLOWS AFTER HIM!!! AIR RAID CRASH BY MOX THROUGH THE PILE OF GLASS DEATH!!! 1..................2...................3!!!!!!!!!
Jon Moxley defeats Maxwell Jacob Friedman (25:56)
The match at Double or Nothing is in the rear view mirror and it sure grabbed people’s attention. Moxley and MJF killed each other so much that they take weeks off after Double or Nothing to heal. It was a proper CZW style deathmatch, between two former CZW World Heavyweight Champions. Fyter Fest is the next show in line and that is where we will see AEW make their Japanese debut. In collaboration with DDT Pro Wrestling, Tokyo Joshi Pro Wrestling and New Japan Pro Wrestling - AEW will host a Supershow. Moxley returns on June 10th, where he confirms that he’s been told that him and Kota Ibushi will face off in a non-title match at Fyter Fest in the main event. This receives a pop.
Jon says he’s excited for the match as he wanted this at Wrestle Kingdom 15, but his commitments in AEW got in the way again. He did lose his IWGP United States Championship to Jay White however at Wrestling Hinokuni however. Ibushi last year said in an interview with Sports Illustrated about a match with Jon Moxley in the G1 Finals: “I have never had a match against him, so I do want to have such an opportunity. The first time that I have that chance is in the G1 fighting at the final.” Ibushi says once again in a NJPW interview that “I still want that match with Jon Moxley, but I don’t feel nervous. He is not credible enough because of his lack of ability to keep hold of the United States Championship. That is my opinion on Moxley-san.” Jon feels the sting of that.
At Fyter Fest, they main the show in a 30-minute epic. Moxley has done several of these thus far against guys like Pac and Kenny Omega, and Ibushi wrestles a similar fast paced style. But the thing both these guys have in common is THEY ARE LUNATICS. Ibushi hits a Phoenix Splash to the outside at one point, and also takes a Gotch-style Piledriver from the top rope. Moxley meanwhile takes a Canadian Destoryer off the apron through a table. Ibushi is the only NJPW representative wrestling on the show. He fights for his company, wanting to prove he is worth the IWGP Heavyweight Championship he lost to Hiroshi Tanahashi earlier in the year. The finishing sequence sees Moxley slide under a leapfrog and go for a waist lock, WITH IBUSHI FLIPPING OVER AND HITTING A KAMIGOYE FOR THE WIN!!! After this Jon takes to the mic and says he wants to face the new IWGP Heavyweight Champion, Tetsuya Naito. Champion vs. Champion, for Naito’s belt. He gets this match as it’s confirmed for the upcoming G1 Special in USA before the thirty-first G1 Climax begins.
G1 Special in Dallas:
Tetsuya Naito (c) vs. Jon Moxley - IWGP Heavyweight Championship
Naito has had quite the year thus far. He started off as the Intercontinental Champion, having successfully defended against Will Ospreay on Night One of Wrestle Kingdom as part of the second ever Double Gold Dash, but lost in the main event of Night Two to Kota Ibushi for both belts. He then went on to lose the New Japan Cup Finals to Tomohiro Ishii after a gruelling bout. He would get his redemption though as at Dominion he defeated IWGP Heavyweight Champion, Hiroshi Tanahashi to win the gold. Now he heads into the G1 Climax as part of Block A, but first him and Jon Moxley will have a non-title Champion vs. Champion Match here tonight. Jon comes out with Shooter who holds his belts for him, while Jon takes in the Dallas crowd reaction. This is the second time these two men have faced off, last time being two years ago on Night 10 of the 29th G1 Climax – when Moxley first arrived to the company, and won.
Tetsuya Naito is very slow in his entrance, very much taking his time with his arrival. He raises a fist to the Ingobernables in particular, one junior in the crowd gets special treatment - #LIJIsForTheChildren. Jon tries for a collar and elbow to begin but Naito falls to the ground and lays in the corner. He just has a stroll around ringside – every 20 seconds rolling back in, just to roll back out. He has a nap on the floor while Moxley gets restless. Naito offers his hand for a collar and elbow, but just turns it into a fist to the sky. JON THEN GRABS HIM AND GOES FOR A LARIAT! NAITO DUCKS AND LANDS AN ARM DRAG! MOX IS THROWN INTO THE ROPES AND LOOKS TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END OF A CHOP…but El Ingobernable relaxes and pats Jon on the chest, and throws his hands up in surrender. He then lies down as the One True Tranquillo.
Moxley has had enough and lifts Naito up for an Irish whip. He predicts Naito stopping before Jon connects his move, and so hits a SNAP DDT! JON IRISH WHIPS HIM TO THE CORNER AND HITS A FOREARM SMASH!! HE FOLLOWS WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG!! MOXLEY THEN GOES FOR A RUNNING CROSSBODY!! NAITO CATCHES WITH A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION! HE THEN LIFTS MOXLEY UP FOR A DRAGON SUPLEX! JON ROLLS TO THE CORNER WHERES HES HIT BY A BASEMENT FOLLOWED BY SLINGSHOT DROPKICK COMBO!! Naito then rolls back and places the LIJ fist to Moxley’s prone head. He rolls outside and grabs his most coveted item – his LIJ cap, and places it on. He lies in the ropes and waits for Jon to get up. When he does reach his feet, MOXLEY PULLS TETSUYA OUT AND HITS A TORNADO DDT!! HE THEN HITS NAITO WITH A FRONT DROPKICK WHILE HES IN THE ROPES, TAKING HIM OUTSIDE!!
They now are on the floor. Moxley sweeps both legs and starts to unload a flurry of punches. He then lifts Naito up for a DEATH RIDER, BUT NAITO ROLLS FORWARD AND HITS A GERMAN SUPLEX!! He then grabs Moxley by the back of the head and brings him to the timekeepers’ area. They fight on the top of his desk. They start trading elbows on there, AND THEN NAITO HITS A SUPER HURRICANERANA THROUGH THE COMMENTARY TABLE!! MOXLEY FLIES OVER THE HEAD OF JUSHIN THUNDER LIGER AND CRASHES THROUGH THE TABLE!! His legs hit off the guardrail so its like he’s folded in a heap of broken wood. Once they’re back up, Moxley refuses to be thrown in by Naito, instead kicking him in the gut and throwing him in instead. Jon then hits a Rolling Release Suplex! 1……2….KICK OUT!! MOXLEY THEN LANDS THE RUNNING CROSSBODY FOLLOWED BY A SERIES OF PUNCHES TO THE DOME!!
MOXLEY GOES FOR A PARADIGM SHIFT, BUT NAITO FLOATS OVER AND HITS A GLORIA!!! HE FOLLOWS BY RUNNING THE ROPES AND HITTING A SOMMERSAULT SENTON!!! 1…...2….KICK OUT!!! Naito then realises he needs to try the Destino. MOXLEY PREDICTS IT AND HITS A BIG ELBOW STRIKE!! He headbutts Naito into the ropes, and then runs up for a FRONT DROPKICK!! NAITO GETS OUT THE WAY AND MOXLEY GOES TO THE APRON!! NAITO THEN HITS A VALENTIA ONTO THE APRON!! They both fall to the floor like a ton of bricks. The IWGP Heavyweight Champion is first up and rolls back in, where he takes a nap. Jon meanwhile waits for his neck to turn back from being dust. He gets back in and flies in with a DIVING ELBOW DROP!!
Moxley now takes Naito out and its his turn to deliver the pain. HE GOES FOR A PILEDRIVER ONTO THE APRON!! NAITO GETS OUT, BUT EATS SHIT WITH AN APRON DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!! Moxley then takes him out to the crowd for a public beating. He throws him to the floor and bangs down punches while the fans count each one. He then gives rest to soak in their response. He sees Tetsuya getting up, WHO THEN HITS A FLYING FOREARM SMASH!! HE THEN IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO THE GUARDRAIL!! Moxley falls over, and IS THEN HIT BY A FLYING CROSSBODY FROM NAITO!! NAITO THROWS HIM INSIDE AND HITS A EVOLUCION!! 1……….2……KICK OUT!!!! JON THEN GETS UP AND BLINDLY SWINGS, NAITO TURNS INTO POLVO DE ESTRELLA!! HE RUNS THE ROPES – AND IS CAUGHT BY A KNEE TO THE GUT!! DEATH RIDER BY MOXLEY!!! 1………2…….KICK OUT!!!!!!! THE DEATH RIDER IS KICKED OUT OF BY THE IWGP HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!
Jon Moxley then goes on to enter the G1 Climax. He competes in the A Block, which looks like this:
While Block B looks like:
Yes, Kenny Omega makes his return to NJPW as part of the G1 Climax and is one of the most controversial names in modern NJPW - after The Elite exodus was a bit messy. Moxley or Omega don’t show up on Dynamite for the whole of the G1, which causes some uproar in the company. The TNT Title becomes the main championship while a Yugi-Oh style Duelist Kingdom tournament takes place. People compete over poker chips on Dynamite, and then all those who have chips fight in a tournament to determine the winner - who then is allowed to enable an “anytime, anywhere” match for the AEW World Championship. I think it’s a cool idea and it takes concepts from anime and Lucha Underground - I’m sold.
Adam Page works his ass off to earn chips, jumping over hurdle after hurdle to reach the top. Meanwhile Brodie Lee wins a chip off of Marko Stunt, and then has his cronies win chips for him that are then handed over to them. This punches his ticket straight to the finals - which earns the ire of Hangman. They face off in early August. Then when Jon Moxley returns, he comes back as a villain amongst the roster. Adam Page specifically who has been building as the new ace of AEW in Omega and Moxley’s absence is especially annoyed. He calls out Jon for being a bad champion. While he respects him for surpassing 500 days as AEW World Champion, he doesn’t just get to slack off to Japan while the rest of the roster go to war with each other for a CHANCE at his title, meanwhile he’s off losing that tournament in Japan.
Jon then tries to retort, but for the first time ever he’s booed. The fans are annoyed he’s left for a month for his other commitments. Moxley then says “well I don’t care if you like me or not because guess what - I’ve been champion for over 500 days and have defended it successfully 9 goddamn times.” They boo him louder. Jon looks like he regrets saying that. Page then tells him “well if you don’t care then there’s a viable replacement who does - me. I’ll can knock you out of your trance because I have this anytime, anywhere match clause. And you know what Jon? I’m enabling it. I will wish you the best in your future endeavours - at All Out.” The crowd pop. “Fine.” Jon says and storms off. Page leads a cowboy shit chant to close the segment.
So the match is made, and Jon doesn’t know what to do. He was a man of the people, but one tour in Japan later and he’s now an ego obsessed douche. But Jon refuses to believe he is this - no, the FANS are the ego obsessed douches. Jon explains this in an interview. Tony then tells him “well, look around you kid. Will Hobbs doesn’t want to associate with you anymore. Darby Allin don’t got your back anymore. Sting isn’t proud anymore. Adam Page is completely against you. Is it that everyone around you are just against you in a big conspiracy?” Jon dissects that, and feels it sink in the truth. “You called out Kenny Omega for burning every bridge when he became inflated with his own self. I’m seeing that in you.” Jon stays silent. “Heck, you even said the fans were the real champions 18 months ago when you won the title. Now they’re the enemy?” Jon simply says “guess so.” and walks off.
All Out 2021:
Jon Moxley vs. Adam Page - AEW World Championship
This is set to be Moxley’s tenth defence of his AEW World Championship, and tonight marks his 547th day as AEW World Champion. Adam Page comes out on a horse, with Excalibur noting “may Hunter Horse Helmsley rest in peace.” The fans lead him in a “Cowboy Shit” chant, all raising their alcoholic beverage glasses to the air at him. He is most certainly the fan favourite in this scenario. Jon Moxley usually walks out through the crowd because he always belived them to be safer to be a part of than the locker room – but this time it’s through the curtain and down the ramp. He’s booed at his arrival, and doesn’t know how to react to not being who he thought he was – or not knowing who he thought THEY were. Adam Page goes for a handshake before the match which earns applause. Moxley looks angry at them cheering him for such a small act, and spitefully accepts the offer. PAGE THEN BEGINS THE MATCH STRAIGHT AWAY WITH A MOONSAULT FALLAWAY SLAM!!! 1……...2…….KICK OUT!!!!!
WOW! What a start. Jon gets up, shocked by the sudden attack. Page shrugs at him and heads to his corner again. Mox gets really annoyed at what Hangman just tried. Page runs for him but IS CAUGHT BY A KNEE TO THE GUT!! MOXLEY THEN HITS A CROSSBODY TO THE FLOOR AND STARTS TO UNLOAD PUNCHES TO PAGE!! He lets go when the ref threatens to ring the bell. HE LIFTS PAGE UP FOR A SUPLEX! PAGE GETS OUT AND HITS A SUPERKICK!! HE GOES FOR A POWERBOMB BUT MOXLEY PUSHES HIM DOWNWARDS AND STARTS TO ELBOW THE SCALP OF HANGMAN! PAGE SLIDES UNDER HIM AND HITS A DISCUS FOREARM SMASH WHEN JON TURNS AROUND!! GERMAN SUPLEX!!! 1……..2…..KICK OUT!! MOXLEY THEN HEADBUTTS PAGE AND HITS HIM WITH A DROPKICK INTO THE ROPES!! Page falls outside and Moxley follows him out there.
HE FOLLOWS OUT WITH A SUICIDE DIVE I MEAN! Page falls up the ramp where Moxley entered from. MOXLEY GOES FOR A PARADIGM SHIFT THROUGH THE RAMP!! PAGE GETS OUT AND RUNS FOR THE RING; ASAI MOONSAULT TO MOXLEY!!! PAGE THEN HITS A FALLAWAY SLAM ONTO THE RAMP!! They both lay there in hurt from all the moves they just hit each other with. Hangman and Jon both shuffle back in under the ropes. Jon pulls himself up by the turnbuckles, and waits for Hangman. HE THEN RUNS UP FOR A TORNADO DDT OFF THE ROPES!! 1……KICK OUT!! The crowd applaud loudly and Mox is ballistic. “HOW DARE YOU!” he says before going for a forearm smash. HANGMAN SLIPS UNDER WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE CHIN! HE THEN RUNS UP THE RAMP AND BACK DOWN FOR A BUCKSHOT LARIAT!! MOXLEY CATCHES HIM WITH A MOXICITY!! PAGE REVERSES INTO A CUTTER!! Now they’re both down.
Hangman sits down at the bottom turnbuckle while he waits for Jon to get up. Jon gets up in the opposite corner. They then rise up at the same time. PAGE GOES FOR A CLOTHESLINE BUT MOXLEY WITH A HANGING SOCCER KICK!! Page stumbles back but rebounds with a forearm smash. MOXLEY THEN HITS HIM WITH A PENDELUM LARIAT!! Jon soaks it in for a moment, befor falling to cover. PAGE WITH A BOOT TO THE HEAD! HE GETS UP AND IRISH WHIPS JON INTO A CORNER DROPKICK!! HE TRIES FOR A RITE OF PASSAGE!! MOXLEY REVERSES AND APPLIES A REAR NAKED CHOKE!!! PAGE ESCAPES AND RUNS TO THE CORNER – BUT SO DOES MOXLEY WHO HITS HIM WITH A FOREARM SMASH! HE FOLLOWS WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG!!! 1………..2……….KICK OUT!!!!!!!!
Page rolls outside to recover and Moxley lays on the apron. He walks around ringside for a moment and takes in the crowd reaction to him. He looks at a chair set up nearby, and starts to advance. HANGMAN THEN HITS HIM WITH A FRONT DROPKICK TO THE BACK, KNOCKING HIM INTO THE CHAIR!! Moxley topples over and now Page waits on the apron. HE DIVES OFF WITH A SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! HE THEN THROWS JON INSIDE AND GOES FOR A BUCKSHOT LARIAT!! CONNECTS!! 1……….2……..KICK OUT!!!! JON THEN GETS UP AND STARTS TO SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF PAGE!! He slaps him over and over while shouting. “YOU. WILL. NEVER. TAKE. MY. CROWN” he says in tandem with every slap. After the one said alongside “crown.” PAGE ONCE AGAIN SLIDES UNDER FOR A SUPERKICK!! HE HITS THE CRACKER BARREL!! He can’t get the cover however.
All Out is done, and Moxley has defended his belt successfully for a tenth time. But at what cost? He originally stated the real champions were the fans - but look at him. He’s calling them ego obsessed douches. JR says that he never knew what being hated felt like and went into defence mode - he didn’t know what else to do and the jealously of Adam Page fuelled the fire. But with Page dealt with, that’s in the rear view mirror. There are 12 weeks left until the next PPV in Full Gear, so exactly 3 months. Before we get into what transpires over those 3 months, let’s go back to our antagonist we haven’t touched upon fully since March - Kenny Omega.
At Double or Nothing Kenny Omega would face off against Kip Sabian at Double or Nothing in a losing effort. This would send Kenny on a spiral of redemption, as he fill into pit of his own ego over the summer. A trip back to a Japan and a match with Kota Ibushi later and Omega was back on track. He returned to the States no longer the bad guy he was. He apologised to everyone and especially the fans when he came back, and said he wants to lead them into the next era of AEW. This is what triggers Moxley. The week after All Out, Kenny Omega is seen with Adam Page backstage comforting him on the loss. They seem to be buddies again. Moxley walks past and sees this, and then walks off angry. Next week then is when Moxley snaps on, who runs off on Omega. “You accept him but not me? Why because he’s now a soft?” Jon asks.
He then feels Omega’s soft touch the week after - in the form of the barbed wire broom. After some hardcore cleaning Omega explains why he has got redemption. “Because I am not insecure, Jon. I accept failures, I can overcome being pushed away. You can’t, Jon. You aren’t able to function without the support of the fans. They’re the crutch of your title - and without them it’s falling apart.” We build towards October 6: AEW Homecoming, where we will see Kenny Omega and Adam Page team up to take on Jon Moxley and a mystery partner. That mystery partner is spoken about by Moxley. “Me and him used to be close, but like everyone he left me. He’s the only guy who will give me a second chance, and for that I’m grateful.” Is it perhaps Will Hobbs? Is it the debut of Nick Gage? Someone we haven’t met?
Well it’s none of the above - it’s Darby Allin. Allin has forgiven Moxley and is back to help him. The match main events and runs 20 minutes with limit ad breaks, and the finish sees Page and Omega double pin Jon after a Buckshot Lariat + V-Trigger combo. This means they both are earned a title match in the future. The week after Moxley has his promo where he says he is looking for forgiveness - but not asking, he doesn’t deserve to request. A man can dream though. The match is then made by Jon himself. “Kenny - our saga has three singles matches so far. The score is currently 2-1-0, but sanctioned as 1-1-0. At Full Gear we will settle it - in our last ever bout. A Last Chance Match. If Kenny wins he will never challenge for the title again. There will be No Time Limits to prevent another draw. And most specially, it will be a Three Degrees of Pain Match.
This is elaborated upon as being essentially a Three Stages of Hell Match. Moxley will choose one stipulation, Omega will choose another, and then The Khan Family will choose the third. Omega says his stipulation will be a standard Singles Match. Moxley’s will be a Barbed Wire Massacre. Then Nik Sobic speaks on behalf of Shad and Tony Khan to announce the third stipulation will be...a Three-way Match with “Hangman” Adam Page. If Hangman wins his fall, he will be added to the rest of them. If not, whoever wins between Moxley and Omega earns the point. In case of a 3 way tie, it goes to sudden death. Everyone agrees to this in the contract signing beforehand. Two years on from when it begun - Omega and Moxley put their war to an end.
Full Gear 2021:
Jon Moxley vs. Kenny Omega - Last Chance No Time Limit Three Degrees of Pain Match for the AEW World Championship
Moxley gets the first, Omega gets the second, Omega then wins. The reign ends at 623 days.
submitted by ConorCulture to FantasyBookingElite [link] [comments]

An Americans first time playing in Britain

I am in London, England for the first time on business and craving some poker action. It should be pretty easy pickings because Europeans don't know how to gamble and I have played a lot of poker in America so am a real shark. We invented poker after all.
I take my sunglasses, XXXL 49ers vest and my World Series W.S.O.P. Poker cap out of my suitcase. Now I'm ready for action.
I arrive at the casino early evening and wander in to the poker room. I give the cashier $2K with my mlife card and he says I need to go to a different desk to do effects transactions. I don't know what he is talking about and tell him this is bullshit, eventually he stops arguing and gives me chips. I only tip him $1, what a jerk off.
I talk to the pit boss and say I'm here to play 5/10, he says 5/10 isn't running and doesn't run every night. I laugh, clearly people over here are poor and don't have the balls to gamble like they do back home. I say put me on the list for everything and order a whiskey and soda to get ready to play. Two minutes later a group of kids walk in and the pitboss tells me that 5/10 will probably start after all.
I sit down at 5/10 and realise the other 5 players are kids, the oldest must be mid 20s and two are clearly teenagers. Clearly they can tell I'm a shark from my cap and are here for some lessons from a REAL player.
First orbit I pick up KJ and call. Flop is T33. I raise, some British African American kid re-raises me, I know he doesn't have it so I re-re-re-raise him all in. He calls like a fish. Turn Q river 9. He shows A3 for a set of threes and I show him the bad news. I chuckle 'Don't go broke in a limped pot kid', and everyone at the table is laughing at him. What a jabroni. In one motion, every kid at the table adds more chips to their stack. Clearly they realise they will need more ammunition if they want to gamble at my table.
I have J5 and the board is J743A. Another kid bets river, I need to get a read so I turn over my cards and say 'can you beat this hand?' The dealer says this means I am folding, I tell him thats bullshit, thats not the rule in the home game in Bobbys basement back in Wyoming. The pit boss comes over and he just talks over me and tells me thats the rule here. Unbelievable, obviously they haven't learned what the real rules of poker are. I make a mental note to get Bobby to fax them a copy of his rule book so they can amend the rules in this dump.
Eventually I pick up cowboys and set the trap by just calling. Flop is T45, some kid bets 30, I make it 230 to see where I am at, he calls so I know I have him crushed. Turn 9 and I decide to trap by checking. He bets 250. I know he is bluffing so I push in my whole stack of 3k. The fucker calls immediately, he has 55 for trips, what a fucking slowroller. I sigh, how do the fish get so lucky. I could reload but I don't have any more dollars on me and anyway, its probably best to go back to the hotel before the Muslim patrols start. As I walk out the door I realise I left my cap at the table. When I go back to the table to retrieve it the table is empty which is pretty weird. I guess they moved the game to another area or something.
Overall a pretty disappointing experience, casinos don't know how to run poker games and there are no real players here. 4/10 Probably won't bother next time.
submitted by myimportantthoughts to poker [link] [comments]

poker has awful betting system

i have been a long time fan of gta. been playing the series since gta3 came out a long time ago.
the mmo is one of the coolest things thats happened to that game.
anyone who has played gta with friends as a party activity since the good old days knows that freemode is whats up, even in the single player mode, and outrunning cops is one of the primary activities in the open world. how this translates over to mmo style is that you now understand the limits of the game mechanics, and you can use a high star level to your advantage to royally troll enyone else in the game that you cross paths with. not verbal trolling, just game mechanic trolling. constantly pranking them with the absurdity of it all, etc..
you might think by now my subject title is wrong. its not.
naturally, as someone who has played nlhe professionally, when the casino update happened, i thought it was what i had long been waiting for rockstsr to do - i figured that nlhe was an ultimate addition to using game mechanics for giving other players a hard time, and then they never came out with it. all they have is stupid blackjack type games. thats bullshit! huge letdown to say the least.
i finally and begrudgingly switched over to rdr2 after the oppressor mk2 in gta ruined the cleverness of the mechanics. btw, the oppressor mk2 is subliminal product placement for rdr2, because u sit on it like a horse, and it takes all the hard earned power that high ranking players had away. makes the trolls easily trolled. takes the fun out of the game. frustrates the die hards enough to switch over to the game that the player pool migrated over to and gets rockstar more fodder for their new release. its pretty sad. almost as sad as, and on the same level as when chat rooms became phased out of the internet. where did the good times disappear to?
so im playing rdr2, and i discover holdem!!! im thinking fuck yes, this is it, rockstar is redeeming themselves big time, and i sit down to play, only to realize that u can only bet $5 per hand max, even if that money all went in on the flop. thats not poker at all. thats wasting my time with a bunch of stupid kids who are being given a seriously pathetic handicap as these cowboys brainwash them about manhood.
where did all the internet good times go? i swear every time a new niche thats good happens, these monopoly vibes notice that we are having too much fun and try to suck the joy out of it so that the n00bs dont have a rage fit.
dude, its fucking depressing.
submitted by Psy_Ren to RedDeadOnline [link] [comments]

I'm making a comprehensive and tentative guide of every adult swim original available to stream. Here's what I have so far

LAST UPDATED Sep 13th, 2018 [Added some new 24/7 streams]
There is a TON of full adult swim shows that are readily available to steam on their website or elsewhere, and it can be crazy trying to find it all. I've attempted to compile a comprehensive guide for every adult swim original that can or cannot be streamed.
EDIT: So this was featured on adult swims front page, which was cool... until Turner came in and took down most of the youtube videos that weren't on adult swim's channel. It sucks because it was mostly the pilots that you can't find virtually anywhere. I've marked through any video thats been taken down.

Entire Series Free on Website and App

12 oz. Mouse
Apollo Gauntlet
Assy McGee
Ballmastrz: 9009
Black Dynamite
Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule
Fat Guy Stuck In Internet
Home Movies
Hot Streets
Joe Pera Talks With You (includes the infomercial and special)
King Star King
Loiter Squad
Lucy, The Daughter of the Devil
Metalocalypse (includes the rock opera)
Million Dollar Extreme Presents: World Peace (Ep 6 Uncensored Extended)
Mongo Wrestling Alliance
Mostly 4 Millennials
Off The Air
Perfect Hair Forever
Samurai Jack (includes the original CN seasons!)
Sand Whale and Me
Saul of the Mole Men
Space Dandy
Space Ghost Coast To Coast
Stroker and Hoop
Tender Touches
The Brak Show (War Next Door is just a 10 second clip, and since I know you're reading this adult swim please fix this)
The Drinky Crow Show
The Heart, She Holler
The Jellies
The Restless Bell
The Rising Son
Titan Maximum
Tom Goes To The Mayor
Xavier: Renegade Angel
You're Whole

Entire Series Free on Other Sites

Soul Quest Overdrive (Pilot, 1, 2, 3, 4)

Almost Entire Series

These shows have nearly every episode on the site but are missing a few. I'll provide links to the missing episodes if available.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Full seasons 1-9, partial seasons 10 and 11 which are available on Hulu
Dream Corp LLC - Missing "You Down with OCD?" but this changes from time to time. There's usually at least 5 episodes. Available on Hulu.
Mary Shelley's Frankenhole - Missing "Mother To Be-sa", an unaired banned episode. (Download)


All infomercials (specials that premiered at 4am) are on the website, but they're split up. Some are listed as infomercials, some as specials. Sorted them all here in chronological order. Youtube links included if available.
Icelandic UltraBlue (Youtube)
Aziz Ansari's Dangerously Delicious (thanks metaldanirl)
Swords, Knives, Very Sharp Objects and Cutlery (Youtube)
For-Profit Online University (Youtube)
Live Forever As You Are Now With Alan Resnick (Youtube)
Broomshakala (Youtube)
Fartcopter (Youtube)
The Salad Mixxxer (Youtube)
Alpha Chow (Youtube)
Goth Fitness (Youtube)
Too Many Cooks (Youtube)
The Newbridge Tourism Board Presents: "We're Newbridge, We're Comin' To Get Ya!" (Youtube)
In Search Of Miracle Man (Youtube)
Smart Pipe (Youtube)
Book of Christ (Youtube)
Frank Pierre Presents: Pierre Resort Casino (Youtube)
Unedited Footage of a Bear (Youtube)
This House Has People In It (Youtube)
Joe Pera Talks You To Sleep (Youtube)
Big Grams: "Born to Shine" / "Run For Your Life"
M.O.P.Z. (Youtube / Slowed Down Version)
Giles Vanderhoot (Youtube)
Live at the Necropolis: Lords of Synth (Youtube)
NewsHits (Youtube)
Mulchtown (Youtube)
Check It Out! With Scott Clam
The Suplex Duplex Complex
Wet Shapes
Innovation Makers: The Coyote Suit
A Message From The Future
Cool Dad - Official Trailer
Final Deployment 4: Queen Battle Walkthrough (Youtube)
Food: The Source of Life


Adult Swim Golf Classic (Extended) - Adam Scott and Jon Daly play as golfers who share their names
Anime Talk Show / Adult Swim Brain Trust - In 2004, Perfect Hair Forever aired its pilot instead of the announced Squidbillies pilot (Here are the bumps "explaining" it: 1, 2, 3). This special hosted by Space Ghost interviewing Meatwad, Sharko, and Early followed it.
Art Prison - A pilot just turned into a one-off special
Bagboy - Check It Out! spin-off
Brett Gelman's Dinner in America - Includes all three specials
Bushworld Adventures - 2018's second April Fools' prank. It's Australian Rick and Morty!
Cool 3D World "Spurt" - Was once removed from Youtube but now it's back
Earth Ghost - Part of 2011's April Fools' prank, aired after The Room.
First Annual Stupid Morning Bullshit Invitational On The Green - A golf match between Mike Lazzo & Andrew Choe
FLCL: Alternative (Subbed) - Episode 1, part of 2018's first April Fools' prank.
Freaknik: The Musical - Hour-long special starring T-Pain that spawned from That Crook'd 'Sipp
The Greatest Event In Television History - Includes all four specials. Created by Adam and Naomi Scott
Mother, May I Dance with Mary Jane's Fist?: A Lifetone Original Movie - Based on a play of the same name by Mary Elizabeth Ellis and Artemis Pebdani of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia fame
Mr. Neighbor's House - Includes both specials. Parody of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
Ranger Smith - Boo Boo Runs Wild - Two shorts created by John K. that aired on Cartoon Network before
Scavengers - Toonami special
Soft Focus with Jena Friedman - I don't have much of a description for this, but it's good.
The Xtacles (1,2) - Frisky Dingo spin-off
Toonami Countdown - Supercut of Toonami's 2017 immersion event
Young Person's Guide to History - Includes both parts


These aren't all of them, just the ones that are relatively easily available. Turner keeps taking down the Youtube links, i'll update when I can.
Bad Guys
Captain Sturdy: The Originals
Captain Sturdy: Back In Action
Cheyenne Cinnamon and the Fantabulous Unicorn of Sugar Town Candy Fudge
Chuck Deuce
Coffin Dodgers
Finkel Files
Filthy Sexy Teen$
Gigglefudge U.S.A.
Hindenburg Explodes!
Korgoth of Barbaria
Let's Do This!
Let's Fish (Youtube / Vimeo)
Lewis Lectures
Lowe Country (pt. 2)
Neon Knome
Penguins Behind Bars (Youtube)
Saddle Rash (Youtube)
Snake n' Bacon
That Crook'd 'Sipp (Backup)
The Best of Totally 4 Teens (Youtube)
The Groovenians
The Mark Lembeck Technique
The New Big Ball With Neil Hamburger
The Pound Hole
The Shivering Truth
Tigtone and the Pilot
Trap Universe
Tropical Cop Tales
Welcome to Eltingville (Vimeo)
Yappy Broads

Online Series

I'm only going to list the full series (Thanks bnjrivera for some of these)
Adult Swim Celebrity Poker Tournament Royale
Carl's Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week
Daytime Fighting League (Season 1 on Youtube)
Electronic Game Information
On Cinema
Ricking Morty
The Cry of Mann: A Trool Day Holiday Spectacular In Eight Parts
The Tim Heidecker Trial
Yoga Bro

24/7 Commercial Free Marathons

Dream Corp LLC
Off The Air
Rick and Morty
Robot Chicken
The Eric Andre Show
The Venture Bros.
Williams Stream (Variety of random originals) - The format seems to be 1-2 episodes per show, and the selected episodes usually stay for weeks
App Only:
Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Black Jesus
Mr. Pickles

The Rest Are Not Complete And/Or Free

Full series with Hulu subscription (Free partial series on
Black Jesus (as)
Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio (as)
China, IL (as)
Dream Corp LLC (as)
Eagleheart (as)
Frisky Dingo (as)
Harvey Bridman: Attorney At Law (as)
Hot Package (as)
Moral Orel (as)
Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter (as)
NTSF:SD:SUV:: (as) - Complete Season 3 on internet archive
Rick and Morty (as)
Sealab 2021 (as)
Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! (as) - 10 Year Anniversary Special only on [as]
Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories (as)
The Boondocks - No free episodes on [as], first and second seasons on internet archive
The Eric Andre Show (as) - Eric Andre Does Paris only on [as]
Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell (as)
Partial with Hulu:
Aqua TV Show Show / Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever - rest on [as] (see above)
Mr. Pickles (as)- Missing season 3
Robot Chicken (as) - Missing season 9
The Venture Bros. (as) - Season 7 will come and go on [as]
Partial on Website and other sites:
Mike Tyson Mysteries - Few episodes of season 3 on website
Newsreaders - Complete season 1 on internet archive
Childrens Hospital - Seasons 1, 2, and 3 complete on internet archive

Not on Website, Lost Media, and Others:
Jack and Triumph Show - rights issue with NBC, no free streaming links atm, on itunes though

Bonus Archived Blocks / Non-Originals / Misc.:

I will be adding more to this list as I come across them
April Fools' Prank 2010 - Cut of all the bumps in between The Room with Space Ghost interviewing Tommy Wiseau
April Fool's Prank 2011 - The Room full block with Earth Ghost
April Fools' Prank 2012 - The Return of Toonami full block (Bleach, Dragon Ball Z, Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Ohki, Outlaw Star, The Big O, Yu Yu Hakusho, Blue Submarine No. 6, Trigun, Astro Boy, and Gigantor)
April Fools' Prank 2018 - Subbed Toonami (FLCL Alternative, Mind Game (full movie), JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders, Hunter x Hunter, Naruto: Shippuden, Space Dandy, Cowboy Bebop, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd Gig, and Scavengers)
Daylights Savings 2017 - Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters aired in the extra hour for DST. Includes commercials and bonus episodes of King of the Hill, Rick and Morty, and Ben 10
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Banned Boston Episode - Unaired episode about their Boston bomb scare. Uncensored and unfinished!
Clerks: The Animated Series - aired Friday nights on adult swim in 2008
High School USA! - Fox series made by Dino Stamatopoulos (Moral Orel, Frankenhole). I'm not sure if this aired on adult swim or not.
Mission Hill - Classic old syndicated show. Individual episode playlist on internet archive or Youtube.
The PJ's - Old Fox series by Eddie Murphy.
Wonder Showzen - NOT an adult swim show but for anyone who is a fan of PFFR (Xavier, The Heart She Holler), this is an essential watch. Besides, adult swim wanted this show anyway.
If you notice any broken or missing links, please let me know! Likewise, if you have any material that could go here, leave a suggestion (I've personally been specifically searching for full blocks of their 16th Anniversary weeks). Happy Streaming!
submitted by certaintrips to adultswim [link] [comments]

META WARS - SEASON 2 - Up My Sleeves / Smuggled Out, Smuggled In / Their Eyes - EPISODE 12

For those of whom haven't been initiated.---- Season 1 on WATTPAD
Beginning of Season 2
This which is a canon map of the MetaScape made by the incredible JustHereForTheLawls(Behond). I updated it to fit the narrative of season 2.
DISCLAIMER: If you are prone to fear grammatical errors, spelling issues, random perspective changes, and novice level writing skills, blame u/nerdman01. You will be triggered deeply. Getting close to end means I don't have much time to proofread, I write and post now. Please be mindful that people have been altered and is meant to be all in good fun. Now have fun and thank you for your time- and thank all of you for making my time here great and enjoyable. I WILL ALWAYS MEAN THAT. I wouldn't be writing it if no one was humoring me. FOR THE O.T.P!
All the art related to Meta Wars Sorry, there's a bunch of duplicates.

SEASON 2 - EPISODE 12 - Up My Sleeves / Smuggled Out, Smuggled In / Their Eyes

“I’m setting out for an exchange. I’ll see you all later,” Kari said while he was packing. NoOne looked up from his newspaper.
The lobby was quiet in the heart of the Town Hall, deep inside ModChat. “Do you know how dangerous those things are?” NoOne, in his nearly black NerdHouse attire, spoke to the lighthearted man.
“I’ve been to plenty.” KarismicHabichi’s eyes fell hard at the fake concern.
“Bikers, thieves, rebels, raiders- all in the same gambling tournament… all in the same room? What could go wrong?” He sarcastically muttered once again over his newspaper and continued reading.
“You know it’s the last place I saw her at…”
NoOne scoffed. “Yeah, it might be the last place you saw her. The same place they accuse you of having aces up your sleeves.” Kari held up his arms to present his hands.
“How can someone accuse me of having something up my sleeves when I don’t have any sleeves?” He laughed at his own joke.
“You know what I meant.” He began to spike outwards, in general, “Let's just invite every ill-intended user from here to Tumblr; marvelous idea, boys.” He flicked his newspaper away to stand.
A user in a light mauve-colored robes carried himself over to the conversation. He collected himself on the back of NoOne’s chair with arms folded and head brought low.
“You want me to go with you?” The slightly purple man said.
“JP, you've had to endure enough trouble as it is, I don't want you to get hurt out there.”
A look of deep thought came over JP and then realization, “I'm better now, Kar, I'll join you. Don't you underestimate me and I'll watch your back. Trust me.” JP spoke with wisdom and slowly for his words to be gathered, a perfect amount of timing for anyone with a sense for cadence to understand that he knew how to persuade.
“We’ll all go,” NoOne interjected. “No need to fuss, they'll know not to fuck around when they see three Piaplites in the same exchange…”
Kari thought of the advantages of actually having a posse, but then he thought about losing his friends to a biker gang or a lone highwayman. He weighed his options…
“Okay. I'll take the help.”
“Good!” JP yelled into the Lobby with enough volume for a bystander, Zacker, to spill his noodles. Meanwhile a woman in a dark-green dress fluttered by. She held out her hand and the gold essence flickered on and off like a florescent light bulb springing to life again.
“Hell of a lot more interesting than what's going on in the news.” NoOne clenched the newspaper tightly and it burst into flames. “Is it being held on Brum’s server?”
“Ha!” Karismic laughed one giant bellow, “Trullor's old server.” Both JP and NoOne looked at one another…
“Alright,” they both said while they nodded.
“Good luck, guys.” Waved a young man that was on a chair, likewise in the lobby. He was a jolly little guy and was enjoying noodles with Zacker. “I hope you don’t get killed.” He smiled.
“Bobby… my son. My robotic son I’ve built and raised as my own…” NoOne said meticulously, “you are a disappointment and an utter disgrace to all of us.”
The robot didn’t look sad, or anything else for that matter, he simply was. “Okay, dad!” He said cheerfully. “Have fun!”
“Don’t burn the place down,” NoOne said again, hesitantly. He saw the sadness creeping into Bobby’s face. His emotional processors must have finally caught up. “I love you,” said NoOne, mostly overcome with regret.
“Love you too, Dad.” It took a moment and it was while the party was walking out of the building that Bobby finally smiled.
The hatch far off from the gates creaked open.
The gates to Stardis were seen by Cerberus from afar. They watched as they saw a group of bikers get waved through. A single mod and Gold User stood guard watching the line to gain access into the city grow.
“So, we got smuggled out and now we're gonna smuggle ourselves back in?” Jeep said crawling out of the maintenance hatch. He grabbed Coraline’s wrist while she tumbled a bit out of the hole.
“I have bad news, folks,” Cerberus went on, “they don't like letting in parties. Even if it's just two people. They'll almost always wave you in if it’s just you. They've also tightened down on security recently, because of… well, you may know why.”
“Alrighty, then. That means Cora-girl will have to be a visionary for a moment here.” Jeep patted Cora on the back while she dusted herself off. She couldn't quite tell how dusty her skirt got, but she knew it was dusty.
Cora looked up, at where she presumed the two men to be. “You're both idiots if you think I could fool them for a moment.”
“Insanity, genius, and idiocy ride a very close line, my dear Coraline,” Cerberus came back. Cora lifted her eyebrow and he felt her hollow eyes narrow in contempt. “For being blind, you're a very expressive person.”
“This isn't how it always used to be, but that's besides the point; let's get this over with.”
Cerberus climbed back in the hole after handing the two some forged papers, and they made their way around to form in line as the others were.
JP finally figured out which intimidating ensemble he was going to wear; just another light purple robe with gold trim.
After Kari obtained permission from Mason, they were off, heading for the old ghost town that was Trullor’s server placed just between the Cookie Kingdom and Piapliss.
The whispers came as soon as their feet hit the ground. Scounderals, maniacs, lunatics, and raiders all watched them as they walked. The party was quite obvious in that it had been going for days, the music was loud and the buildings were torn.
Their robes and cloaks fluttered in the wind as they walked. They saw the old town square with horses, and vans, and motorcycles all lined up. What used to be the Hotel was “renovated” into a makeshift casino. They could hear the thumping of music coming from next door, but the noise of the casino nearly deafened this.
They opened the dust doors to the the casino. They could hear chips dropping, videos playing, people talking, and a mule, for some reason, squawking.
They wandered to the receptionist and Karismic spoke to her first, “Hello, dear. We're here to shoot craps, shoot the shit, and run out of money and quit.”
The woman smiled so wide it almost seemed facetious, “As is everyone here, I'd presume,” she laughed, while NoOne examined her name badge. Adqui. Alright, she's Stardision. I know this one.
“How much would fourteen Cat Emotes get us, love?” Asked the man clad in his chainmail.
“Sorry, sir, but Cat Emotes have plummeted in value. They exchange for two pur... unless you have a Pusheen Emote; those are four.” She laughed coyly once more at Kari.
Kar’s face fell, discontent with that amount. “Alright, how about a few Starvs Emotes I got lying around.”
“Oh, good choice, sir, but on account of the rampant usage of them, we had to drop the value of those. Sorry.” NoOne stepped in front of Kari, grabbed a small wooden box and opened it in front of Adqui. She gasped in response.
Whatever emote was in the box shined on her face and gathered the attention of many onlookers and other receptionists. NoOne closed the box once more, and JP sighed at the trivial existence of these emotes. “How much for that?”
“Oh, that might be worth more than I anticipated…” She scoured the drawer and pulled out as many chips as she could fit on the counter. JP grabbed a few buckets and NoOne left the box on the counter.
They all gathered their buckets and headed for the tables.
A man with a few dozen scars walked to Adqui. He leaned in closely. “Those were them,” he said quietly.
“Oh, that makes sense,” she said quite loudly as she smiled.
“Please, hun, make your way out the back. I'd recommend you all do the same,” he spoke the last half to the remainder of the cashiers.
“Okay, when you hear his voice, you have four or five steps until you're at the counter. The gate is pretty wide. There's a metal arm that lets people in. He's about my height. Look at me in the eye, higher. Higher. Lower. There. Perfect. Okay, there looks like a little groove in the concrete just before the booth….”
“This isn't going to work.”
Jeep sighed and continued, “Okay, the dip is about two feet from where we stand. I'll tug your blouse in line, remember the dip is about three inches deep. And then…”
“I'm so tired of this. Jeep,” he wanted to continue, but kept himself in her respects, “Why did you free me? Why are you still here? Just leave. Do what you were sent here to do and forget about me.”
“I want you back, Cora; the world wants you back.” She could feel his sincerity washing over his words, but he had to be quiet. “You don't know what it's been like without you. Things just ain't right. You up and left, and things went completely belly up-”
“Next!” The employee at the kiosk yelled to the people in front of the duo.
“Okay, this is you, girly. You got this; you know you do.” Cora didn't know what kind of face she was letting Jeep see at the moment, but she hoped it expressed her apprehension quite thoroughly.
“Port,” said the Mod astutely next to the gentleman inside the kiosk, “You still have your mandated fifteen minute break to go to. I'd be quite pleased if you do so now.” The mod wore a perfect suit to accompany his stature.
“But it's early… if I take it now, the hours are gonna feel long.” Jeep’s face lit with the hope that it would be Port doing the assessment.
“Yes, but I need to cover your lunch. I'd rather get it done and over with now.” Jeep went grave in response.
“Come on, Quark, can we wait until we get through this rush?”
Contemplation came over Quark as the rollercoaster of mentality shattered and relieved Jeep.
“We’ll play a game over it real quick. Heads or tails?” Quark smiled eagerly. The sharp ping of a coin tinged as the coin hit his finger.
Jeep's face was in disbelief; even if disbelief really isn't an emotion, Jeep was displaying it swimmingly.
He extended his arm fully and the coin landed on his open palm. “Flip or no flip?”
“Flip!” Yelled Port. He slapped the coin against his arm.
“Heads or tails?” Quark responded slowly. Jeep was sweating profusely at this small, seemingly insignificant interaction.
“Heads.” Quark peaked under his hand and smiled. Port, thinking he lost, began to stand.
“Sit back down, you're taking a late break and lunch today.” Port couldn't look happier. Jeep did not.
They began to play, but as some of you may have guessed, the house always wins. They sat for a while too long waiting for her. Kari kept watching the door, keeping his eye on the Tien Len table, but to no avail.
NoOne sat there, one arm propping his head up while the large men were complaining about him “stealing their cards”. He simply smiled and waved. JP watched from behind the two, knowing that gambling wasn’t quite his intentions.
NoOne, for no particular reason, bet an irrational amount of chips. Everyone groaned while they folded. The dealer rolled his eyes and pushed the chips earned towards the man.
“He’s counting cards!” One of the bikers in his dark leather and spikes sat up quickly. “I’m watching his tells!”
NoOne turned his head to address the man. “You can’t count cards in poker,” he rebutted very lazily.
“Okay, maybe not, but something’s going on here!” He yelled into the table. Something wasn't going on there. He was just wrong.
The dealer spoke up, “Okay, arms up, buddy, unroll those sleeves.” NoOne did just that to reveals under both of his arms two very distinct mechanisms hiding underneath the draping fabric. One seemed to be some kind of coil and the other was a nozzle. Chain Smoker, the dealer, found it strange, but nothing that could indicate cheating. “The game continues.”
JP bent down to NoOne and whispered into his ear. “What are you doing?”
“I’m bored. There’s nothing more dangerous than a bored man with more money than he should have.”
One of the bikers took the enraged man by the shoulder, “Olaf, sit down. Sorry about my friend. I’m Brum, now let’s play some poker.” Brum replaced Olaf while others walked Olaf out of the building.
NoOne looked to Kari, who was too captivated. He looked to see what he was looking at. Kari folded his cards and went to a woman in a striped leather scale armor. Her face covered in matching streaked warpaint. She sat down and Kari nearly floated towards her.
He looked at his losing hand. He also looked to the cowboy-looking feller next to him. His eyes wandered to his wayward hand, the hand that was laying flat on the table. Slowly, NoOne pushed his hand closer and closer to the nameless cowboy. Finally, without his notice, he laid his own hand on top of the man’s.
Still with his head resting on his arm that was resting on the table, the cowboy slowly looked his way and realized it was NoOne’s hand. He quickly shot it back. “What the fuck!?” He yelled in response, but NoOne simply kissed the air. “Ah, hell, no! This ain’t the place to be doing that!” The cowboy got up quickly and reached for his revolver.
“Aw, but I love you,” the robbed man told the cowboy facetiously. He went for his revolver, but NoOne held it with his other hand. The chamber began to curl and the entire body of the gun bubbled and finally melted. The bikers were starting to get up, seeing the brewing fight, and began to hold their own. The dealer had already made his way from behind to the counter to tell the bouncer.
Coraline stumbled while she walked and looked forwards; luckily for her, the Mod and Port were still bantering back and forth. She felt the wall with her finger and then the guard rail that Jeep had warned her about. She attempted her elegant march to the kiosk, but she stopped about two steps too soon. She did manage to look him in the eye, but unfortunately it wasn't Port’s eyes she was looking into, rather, it was Quarks.
“Um, hello, Ma'am, do you have your paperwork today?” She handed over the papers, now attempting to stare at the correct user.
The ledge of the kiosk was felt, but she managed to drop the paper behind the ledge and onto his desk, about three feet away from where Port actually was.
“Okay… dear, let's see… Username: DogmaticRefugee… State of Origin: Hey, the Hulu Islands, wow, we don't get much of you around here,” Coraline smiled through an awkward nod. “And… association… Reddit? You're a SubReddit Affiliate? Quark, I've never seen this. Comere.”
Why in Daron’s name would they put that on my registration!?
Quark took a look at the certification, pondering for a moment in the depths of her paperwork.
“Ma'am, can you please step aside?” He told Coraline.
“Hi,” said Kari, looking at the woman.
The woman looked back and responded accordingly, “Hi.” Their eyes were doing awful things to each other.
“I… I didn't catch your name last time,” he spoke a little more deeply than he had always.
“AngelicWhispers.” Kari was surprised at the plainness of the name, but didn't mind. Not a bit.
“Nice name.”
“No u.” From behind the two enamored with other came a the shot of an assault rifle from afar. Then the hiss of gas and a puff of fire. They both looked to see NoOne dodging a few meager punches from a band of bikers. The rifle was shot from the bouncer that had warned the group of users, but it was too late. The entire casino fell into unruly violence.
They watched as NoOne lit the counter on fire with the flamethrowers hiding under his sleeves. He smiled menacingly as he was pelleted with a barrage of bullets hitting him, but JP held behind him. His hands glowed while he healed the mechanical genius. The bullets slid out from his body as soon as they had entered.
A group of guards pointed at Kari, “He's with them!” What seemed like the largest user ran towards Kari and Angel. Angel kicked the stool up and threw it towards the opponent. It hit him square on the face.
The bouncer in the rear held his machine gun towards the two. Both of our heroes gabbed the massive playing table and pulled it over. They both climbed behind it.
“As soon as he reloads, I'll take the three in front and you go directly for the gunner! Oh! Btw,” she reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. The bullets started to eat away at the wood of he table, “I was hoping you'd be here.”
“I was hoping the same. Hey, do you like dumplings?” They heard the final bullet enter the chamber and the cartridge fall to the ground.
“NOW!” They both yelled while they leaped over the massive table. Kari unsheathed his two short swords as she kicked up a knife lain on the ground.

“NoOne, stop this!” JP yelled from behind him, healing his body but also using him as a shield. He was laughing at the fire that grew on the eastern flank of the building. A blue glow saved these men from the heat and whips of flames, but the smoke was building.
Many of the gunners and thugs had decided to flee. A biker that had delegated to take his blind anger on NoOne punched at the man and hit him across the jaw. NoOne flicked his wrist outwards and feigned distress. He gave a little spurt of flame to the man’s jeans and they slowly and softly lit ablaze. The biker immediately took off his pants and ran for his life.
“Let’s get the hell outta here!” NoOne finally yelled. He looked through the smoke. A metal panel extended over his mouth and completely covered it. It enclosed the lower half of his face. Likewise goggles came down from under his hood. He shoved a mechanism, a small respirator into the mouth of JP.
NoOne looked through the fleeing crowd the the opposing side of the casino and saw Kari disarm a man with his short swords and not moments later the Discordian bouncer burst into ash. Behind him, a shorter woman was dealing with several unarmed thugs, some deciding it was best to run. It was, in fact, time to get out of the building.
JP ran towards the couple. Kari had been shot several times. He dropped to his knees in desperation.
He vaulted over many of the casino tables. He sprang over one support beam that had fallen. The fire had yet to engulf it entirely, but there came a shriek. “Help!” From under the pillar, a pair of legs writhed in pain.
JP pulled out his respirator, “NoONE!” He yelled into the flames. Surrounded in a light blue aura NoOne walked forth, unscathed. JP pointed down. He touched the woman trapped and healed her body. They both grabbed the beam quickly and the woman had enough strength to escape.
JP oriented her towards the rear door, unblocked by any fire. She ran quickly. JP ran behind her. NoOne followed casually.
Sliding, JP’s hand held forth and grasped Kari. Not a moment too soon as his breathing was becoming so shallow it was almost nonexistent. The bullets fell to the ground as they ripped from his body.
Karin and Angel began to cough relentlessly. They all made their way to the exit.
“This Heretday, 5pm. Meet my family. It’ll be a blast.”
“Okay, sounds like a plan.”
Coraline stood to the side, which was in a completely meaningless place to her. Quark looked over the paperwork over and over again. To a certain extent, it was meaningless, all the same. He pondered for a moment and spoke into his watch.
“Uh, Cobalt, you busy?” Within an instant a somewhat tall, blue woman was on the scene, having landed just meters from the gates. She made contact with the ground elegantly and lightly.
A melodic chorus of pop music began to be heard from afar. It became louder and louder.
“Next!” Yelled Port while Jeep wandered up to the podium, worried and nearly drenching his suit.
The blue woman was dressed in some of the most scandalous looking attire that one could imagine… okay, maybe not that scandalous, but definitely not practical. She walked to Quark and then looked at TheCoralineJones.
“Oh, well don't you look beautiful, sugar, don't you worry, we’ll get this all sorted out in a jiffy.” Cobalt took the papers and her eyes fluttered quicker than any normal user. “Hmmmmm, signed by WOE. I see. Quark, please give me and Refugee here a moment.” Her eyes changed color very quickly, looked at the Subreddit admin, and changed back.
“Of course, Lady Cobalt.” Cobalt wrapped her arm around Coraline and walked her inside the gates.
“Honey, you got yourself into a mighty big pickle.” She chuckled a bit. “A long road is ahead, ‘cause I’ve been down this path, but this time it feels different…” A pause fell over both, “You ever read a good book and no matter how many times you read it over and over again; you know the words just ain’t gonna change, but you so desperately want them to?”
Coraline was nervous, she didn’t know where this was going, or where they were going. Her heart pounded inside her ears, barely paying attention to the Bot. “You catching what I’m putting on the table here, love, this time is a whole lot different than most. That’s why imma let you pass, sugar, because I want to see how this thing fleshes out. We gotta see how much we can take before we break, you know?” A massive relief came over Cora as she walked aimlessly with Cobalt. “You don’t let no son of a bitch get you down, okay, love? Be strong. You never know how strong you are until your moment is ready…” She guided her to the opposing side of the wall.
“Okay,” Stated Cora slowly, still trying to fein sight. She had no idea where Jeep was and had little more of an idea where they were.
Cobalt lifted her arm and held out her wrist. The blue hand of the woman guided over Cora’s wrist. A series of insignias began to roll and change, flashing quickly under her forearm. They settled on a few arbitrary symbols. “If anyone gives you trouble, show them this. You’ll be fine, honey. Your friend’s over there trying to look like he’s browsing at the gift shop, but it’s not like he’s really doing much better than you trying to fit in. I’m sure the readers won’t mind, though.” She winked at something, or perhaps someone, but no one was quite sure what. Especially Cora, who didn’t even know that she winked to begin with.
Before Cobalt jumped back into the city, she turned, away from every soul and talked outwards to no one in particular. “You ready for one more fight scene?”
Meep, Lawl, Dakota, and Penguin all settled in for the night. They didn't have any money for a room, so they decided to sleep with the desperate. They found themselves a little town inside the city and all bunkered down next to the fire. It was a hot and dry night after all. Why not? They'd find sleep, if it found them.
They actually didn't look too out of place.
They all began to tell stories of their previous lives and what they remembered. Lawl, being the youngest user, truly found their stories of valor incredible.
“Yeah, so there I was, in this very city, not only a few blocks from where we sit…” Dakota went on, the fire illuminating her face ever so slightly, “...We were roving, gathering up all the local shitposters for our posse, shaking down the local merchants, we were wanted. Our little group started to grow, some of them were doing some disturbing things that I didn't agree with, so I had to bring down the law. Showed up with six heads to a poster that had started his own faction under my gang. We didn't take kindly to that. We kicked down the door. But these guys knew we’re coming…” She stopped and took a moment to recollect the memories, “I don't know how I didn't get ash’d that day, but I crawled out of there. My leg nearly blown off. I was crawling away and some nameless anti-shipper came ‘round the corner. The look on his face to realize he wouldn't finish me off that day. My shotgun sang her song and he was dust. I still don't know to this day why his buddies didn't come to give me a bullet, but they didn't. I crawled my way four blocks before a Toffcore shipper took me in and nursed me back to health. I owe him my life.” One of the users in the back, Pyrocrat, began to clap. She looked around and realized no one else was clapping. She stopped clapping. A nearby user gave her a hug.
Meep was taking to a user that had fallen from legend. UniverseIsAHologram had been talking with him for some time now. Reminiscing about the Marclipsian War.
The group settled and an hour passed, and not before long most of the users in the shanty had logged off for the night, but two users had no intention of sleeping that night.
“Yeah, what’s up, Time-lady?” Dakota sarcastically said back to Penguin, while she cleared and cleaned her shotgun. The shells placed neatly in a row in front of the women. She replaced all the parts quicker than Penguin had seen anyone assemble a weapon and with a pump, it was reloaded and readied.
“I know this is an ambitious question, but what's it like to take a user's life?" Asked the retired Timekeeper.
Dakota nearly paid no mind to the unsettling questions. She had more interest in the food in her hand. She answered casually, but continued to eat. "I mean, it really matters on who you are inside. If you're a complete sociopath then you ain't gonna give two shits," she took a bite of the dumpling she bought from the vender, still talking through her food, "It's really not something you want to talk about and that's the real kicker." She held out a finger while she chewed and held it in the air to Penguin. Penguin waited for her to swallow.
"Right," Penguin responded solemnly to the wait.
"The real problem is that you'll feel bad initially, sure, but after that feelings gone, that person just won't leave. For me it's their eyes.”
Penguin just listened.
“Sometimes you'll see their eyes, sometimes it's with pity. Sometimes they're angry, but you'll be reminded day after day that they just won't leave you alone." Dakota took another heaping bite from the dumpling, "You'll be drinking with friends and bam! There they are just staring at you. Think you can read a book? Nope, there's their eyes. They won't ever leave and the worse part? You know they're a part of you now." Penguin looked off into the distance, there was nothing more than the desire never to do that to another user. Not for as long as she lived.

Meep slept upright, sword in hand. Lawl was leaning against another user with his cloak over his head, she snored quite loudly. Penguin watched the streets, while Dakota watched the sleeping users.
Penguin looked up. She saw a cloak shoot away from the balcony, she narrowed her eyes and saw many more dark figures move. It was time.
She pushed Dakota, who was nodding off.
Where once her body was came the metallic clash of metal on cement. Then two of the same noise, then eight, then fourteen, and then twenty.
“AMBUSH!” Yelled Dakota. Meep sprung to his feet as did Lawl and the mysterious man next to her she was drooling on. The entire shanty town sprang to life. Some still drunk, some fleeing, sometimes both.
The first cloaked thing swung at Penguin, who managed to duck under the hit. Meep jumped to the wall he was sleeping against and sprang perpendicular to the floor, launching himself into the bot attacking Penguin. The two tumbled into the next fight, punching one another.
Dakota vaulted over a pair of swords connected to the arms of these cloaked figures. She landed and pressed the muzzle of the shotgun against the torso of the figure. She pulled the trigger and an assortment of metal and parts flew from the cloak.
“They’re bots!” She yelled as Lawl speared one against the wall. She attempted to lift it off the ground and struggled. The cloaked user she was sleeping against grabbed the spear and they both slammed the bot over their head- to the floor.
Meep managed to get his bot on the ground and stabbed his saber through the head of it. He pulled up and split the bot’s head in twain.
Penguin heard the clashing of a separate scuffle on top of the roof of the apartment complex. Above the alley the little town was inhabiting. She saw dozens of parts start raining from the massacre they all couldn’t see.
“Why is this happening?!” Yelled Hologram as one of the bots grabbed him and scaled the wall up onto the top of the building, essentially stealing him.
“My, Daron, the bots are stealing users!” Yelled another very blatant and very intoxicated user, yelling the obvious for expositional purposes.
Meep was onto his next Bot when he watched as Penguin dangled from the hand of another. Lawl pointed her spear towards the Bot and fired. The tip of the spear raced to the bot, but only scathed several circuits, no more than just that. Penguin stood there gagging while the Bot lifted her by the throat. Meep was too far as the robot was ready to leave with the Timekeeper.
The hooded user that Lawl had slept against made quick work of his Bot and yelled, “Dakota!” Dakota turned to investigate the scene behind her. She was wrestling her weapon with another robot that had attempted to grab the shotgun. She pushed with all her might against the bot, and smacked the stock of the gun against its head.
Just as the bot started to scale the walls came the sound of the blast. Dakota’s muzzle still smoking. Penguin dropped to the ground and the hooded user dove to catch her. He got her to her feet and ran through the alley.
It wasn’t much longer after that that the Bots retreated.
The alley fell quiet in the chaos on that warm, dry night.
“What just happened?” Lawl inquired, helping other users up to their feet.
“Not sure, but it wasn’t good.” Dakota responded, making sure Penguin was in decent health and safety.
“Yeah, I’m not sure either, but we gotta get out of here.”
“Agreed,” the shotgun wielding woman exclaimed. “Let’s head west. We can sit the rest of the night in the stairwells.”
“Who was that other guy?”
“I don’t know, you were the one leaned up against him. Didn’t you get a good look at him?”
“Nope. He knew your name.”
“I presume he knew all of our names.”
Kari stood at the foot of the massive castle-like city that is The Cookie Lounge. This is where the invitation was said to be for, and he was punctual as he always was, but the giant lawn or ornaments made him unsettled. He knew of The Cookie Lounge, but he had never needed to go.
He pressed the speaker’s button. A bleak sound of Static came over the speaker and finally a voice.
“Hi, and welcome to TCL automative system, please follow the prompts accurately and to the best of your ability.” Kari recognized that the voice was so astute that it must have been a recording. “Please, if you are here to see Antag, press 4. If you are here to see Fite4Diamonds, press 86…” The recording played and Kari looked down and around for any sign of a keypad. “If you wish to reach Angel, please speak loudly and clearly into the speaker “Angel”.” He look up surprised and intrigued.
“Yes, I’m here to see Angel.” The recording stopped immediately when he began to spoke.
“I’m sorry, I didn't understand what you meant. If you're here to see Lilly, press 4-”
“Angel, Angel, Angel,” Kari said loudly into the speaker, holding it.
“I'm sorry, sir, I did not understand that.” He heard another voice in the background come getting louder.
“Is someone there! Privvy, who’s there!?”
The person who was doing the recording quickly said something nearly incoherent, “Uh, dude, I'm just screwing with you, uh, you can come in…” it was so fast that it almost all blurred together and was a completely different tone than his other voice.
The microphone picked up a scuffle and quite a few “oofs” and “ows”. The gate finally buzzed and the massive gates slid to the side.
Starring: KarismicHibachi, @NoOne, @JP, @Cerberus, u/TheCoralineJones, u/jeepdave, @Port, @getquarked, @Brum, @CobaltButterfly, u/TheOneWhoSaysMeep, u/Penguin_Out_Of_A_Zoo, u/dakotalana, u/Herejustforthelawls
Also Starring: zackerthescar, u/starcoxtrullor, @Bobby, u/Not_Mason_Pines, @Adqui, @Olaf, @Chain Smoker, @Angel, DogmaticRefugee, u/UniverseIsAHologram, u/Pyrocrat, @Fite4Diamonds, @Privvy
u/nerdman01 is Bobby’s bottom bitch
submitted by PoetryAreWe to StarVStheForcesofEvil [link] [comments]

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submitted by jeffthehat to bettingsignupsforpay [link] [comments]

What's happening around town (Wed, Sep 11th - Tue, Sep 17th)

Oklahoma City's event list.


Wednesday, Sep 11th

  • 🎓 1 Million Cups (Starspace 46 - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am 1 Million Cups is monthly community initiative to support local startups and innovators. It’s a great networking opportunity where two entrepreneurs present. Next, there’s a little Q&A. Finally, the audience asks what we can do to support the entrepreneur in their endeavors. The event requires no registration, is always free, and includes…
  • 🍴 Anthem Drown Night! (HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
  • 🎓 Budgeting for Baby (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm Bumpos, Wubba Nubs, and Boppys, oh my! Sometimes budgeting for baby can make you feel like you're speaking a different language. Librarians and new moms Heather and Amber share and translate how to navigate the must-have, and don't-need supplies when preparing for baby. You'll also be able to make and take your own felt board learning toy for…
  • 🍴 Dope Poetry Night (ICE Event Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Every Wednesday night at the Ice Event Center Sports Bar and Grill located at the heart of Oklahoma City! Sign ups begin at 7pm and show begins at 7:30pmish. Free Admission! Free vendor set up! Bar Restaurant
  • 🍴 HOG FEED & Brad Fielder // The Deli (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm a late night showcase of electrified sounds for dancing and drinking 10 pm • $5 • 21+ @[613358162016520:274:Brad Fielder] country blues & ragtime @[305468736537459:274:HOG FEED] juke joint blues & jank rock
  • 😂 John Evans (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Sep 14th
  • 🎓 September Morning Mingle (Del City Chamber of Commerce - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00am
  • SINGO Wednesdays (Lower Bricktown - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm Beat the midweek hump with the new bar game that everyone is talking about! SINGO is a new and exciting musical spin on the traditional game of Bingo. Instead of listening for a number, players are listening to their favorite music. Enjoy 1/2 price domestic drafts & discounted appetizers! Plus we will be giving prizes each night to the winners.…
  • 🏃 Tai Chi and SAIL Classes Stay Active & Independent for Life: Wednesdays and Fridays (Edmond Senior Center - Edmond) Start Time: 1:30pm Come join us for these free exercise programs. Tai Chi class is one of the most effective exercises for the health of mind and body. SAIL (STAYING ACTIVE AND INDEPENDENT FOR LIFE) Sail is a fitness program for older adults, which can be done sitting or standing. Performing exercise that improves strength, balance and fitness is critical for…
  • 🎓 Teachers ½ to eat, too! (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 5:00pm Teachers and administrators can ring in the school year with a sweet deal. Every Sunday thru Thursday in September, a school ID will get teachers and administrators a half-priced Four Course Classic Experience. It’s our way of saying “thank you” for all you do!

Thursday, Sep 12th

  • Art Show at DNA Galleries (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Start Time: 6:00pm
  • Buzzing Bumblebees: Baby Story Time (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 10:30am Join us for the first session in a new series: Buzzing Bumblebees: Baby Lapsit Story Time! Introduce your baby to words and reading with songs, rhymes, stories and play. This program is designed to engage babies birth to 18 months and their parents or caregivers. Engage your little one with new sights, sounds and movement through books, songs,…
  • 🎡 Chickasaw Country Entertainment Stage featuring Kevin Fowler (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm How Country Are Ya? is the good-timing, tradition-steeped and honky-tonk-stomping Amarillo native’s return to basics effort. Kevin Fowler has earned his...
  • Divided Heaven + tba (Blue Note - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Los Angeles' favorite punk/indie rockers return to OKC for some loud, smokey, warm, bar vibes. We love OKC and we love The Blue Note.
    HEAR the new Divided Heaven record: BUY the new Divided Heaven record: INFO & TOUR DATES:
  • The Four Italian Tenors (Armstrong Auditorium - Edmond) Start Time: 7:30pm For the first time ever, the Four Italian Tenors will be performing in the United States, including a show at Edmond's…
  • Full Moon OKC Bike Ride & Run (Crystal Bridge - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm The Full Moon Bike Ride and Run is a casual monthly event where friends and families can enjoy a leisure one-hour bike ride…
  • 😂 John Evans (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Sep 14th
  • Julian Dawson And Phil Lee (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • 🎨 JUURI / Solo Art Exhibition (DNA galleries - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm A solo exhibition featuring Oklahoma artist Juuri. Exhibition opening + artist reception // Thursday, September...
  • Kevin Fowler in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Kevin Fowler performs live for the crowd. Fans can…
  • Magical Monarch Migration (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Thursday, September 12, 6-7pm The Garden Classroom Member $5; Nonmember $6 Best for ages 7 to 10 REGISTER HERE In this class, we will learn about this marvelous monarch with crafts and games and find a few ways we can help them arrive safely in Mexico. Put your new knowledge to work and join us the next two Fridays after this class for monarch…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Sep 16th Oklahoma State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on…
  • OCU Symphony Orchestra and Wind Philharmonic Season Opener (Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm The OCU Symphony Orchestra and newly formed OCU Wind Ensemble join forces for our 2019-20 concert opener! The orchestra will perform @[102171823158143:274:Tchaikovsky]'s Symphony No. 5 in E minor, Op. 64 under the baton of Prof. @[1035331834:2048:Jeffrey Grogan]. Dr. @[510184813:2048:Matthew Mailman] and the OCU Wind Philharmonic will present…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • Opening Celebration of Caballeros y Vaqueros (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:30pm
  • 🏆 RuPaul's Drag Race: Werq The World - Oklahoma City (Rose State College Hudiburg Chevrolet Center - Midwest City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Scrabble Showdown benefiting OKC Metro Literacy Coalition (Castle Falls Event Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Skill is only optional at this game night fundraiser! There are three levels of competition—novice, intermediate, and advanced/club. Enjoy food, drinks, two games of Scrabble, and drawings for prizes all evening. News 9’s Alex Cameron will be returning to emcee the 10th Annual Scrabble Showdown.
    OKC Metro Literacy Coalition promotes…
  • 🎓 Teachers ½ to eat, too! (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 5:00pm Teachers and administrators can ring in the school year with a sweet deal. Every Sunday thru Thursday in September, a school ID will get teachers and administrators a half-priced Four Course Classic Experience. It’s our way of saying “thank you” for all you do!
  • Teen Avengers Night (Guthrie Library - Guthrie) Start Time: 5:00pm Dress up like your favorite Avenger and come watch Avengers: Endgame. @[139181842792560:274:The City of Guthrie, OK - Municipal Government] @[207071275983790:274:Guthrie Chamber of Commerce] @[1716001705334748:274:ChooseGuthrie] @[490379294436783:69:Talk around guthrie where nobody gets deleted]
  • The Truth about Decluttering Your Home (Francis Tuttle Technology Center North Campus - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Did you know that clutter in your home can lead to clutter in your head? Have you ever considered that your recent short term memory loss may not be associated with age at all -- but instead the result of a much needed unfinished declutter project? It’s time to rekindle the phrase, “Home is where the heart is” and let go of the belief that…

Friday, Sep 13th

  • 2nd Friday Norman Art Walk (Norman Arts District - Norman) The 2nd Friday Norman Art Walk, a monthly celebration of the arts in Norman, connects the downtown arts district with…
  • Aaron Lewis in Concert (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm Rock out as Aaron Lewis performs at Riverwind Casino in Norman. Put your hands up and sway to the beat as…
  • 🍴 The Aints : Friday Happy Hour Show (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us for a Friday Happy Hour performance by Norman's own @[1677562695811365:274:The Aints]. No Cover and Non Smoking! 7-9pm
  • An Evening With Travis Linville (The Paramount OKC - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • Ante Up! (Western Heritage Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm
  • Art Show at DNA Galleries (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Start Time: 6:00pm
  • 🎨 Norman Art Walk (Norman Arts District - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm
  • BC & The Big Rig "Turn and Burn" Album Release party (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm BC & The Big Rig are throwing an album release party at The Deli! Turn and Burn is The Big Rig's third album. It is recorded by Taylor Tatsch at AudioStyles Studio in Dripping Springs, TX and Mastered at Foster Mastering in Portland, OR. Come on out and celebrate this Big Rig milestone. The Chance Anderson Band splits the evening to create a…
  • Chance Anderson Band LIVE (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm Chance Anderson Band W/ BC & The Big Rig
  • Chris Trapper in Oklahoma City, OK (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Harrah Day (Harrah Heritage Park - Harrah) Day 1 of 2 Come out for a day of family fun at Harrah Day. Begin the day as one of the best parades in the state makes its way through…
  • DeloektronidiscO at Bison Witches (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm
  • Ellen Moershel // Michael Fischerkeller (Mainsite - Norman) Start Time: 6:00pm
  • 🎨 Norman Film Festival, Night One (Mainsite - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm
  • The Gatlin Brothers in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before the Gatlin Brothers perform live for the crowd. Fans can…
  • 😂 John Evans (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
  • 🎡 Latin Food Fest (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Friday, September 13, 7-11pm Seasonal Plaza Free event VIP: $25 per person RESERVE NOW!
    Get the VIP experience with tequila tastings and specials from local restaurants. Our Mariachi band performs at 7:30 p.m. followed by our DJ spinning your Latin favorites at 8:30 p.m. Jorge and Brenda from Tango Public Relations will serve as emcees.…
  • LIVE! on the Plaza: Oktoberfest (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm LIVE! on the Plaza is the Plaza District's free & monthly artwalk featuring art shows, live entertainment, great food and local shopping. Join us as we celebrate one of Oklahoma City's best monthly festivals!
    More details to be announced!
  • Mickey's Search Party (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Sep 16th Oklahoma State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on…
  • Monarch Tagging Walk-Ups (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 2:00pm Friday, September 13 and 20, 2-3pm Children’s Garden Porch FREE With the crisp air of autumn on its way, our gardens are filled with the vibrant beauty of Monarch butterflies making their way south once more! To gain more information and learn about their journey, people all over the country participate in Monarch tagging. Join us for a quick…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • 🎡 Oklahoma State Fair - Performance & Event Venue - Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - 4,407 Reviews - 5,539 Photos | Facebook (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Oklahoma State Fair - 3001 General Pershing Blvd, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73107 - Rated 4.2 based on 4,407 Reviews
  • Ray Wylie Hubbard in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Get your tickets for a very special evening of singesongwriter magic when Ray Wylie Hubbard takes over the iconic Tower…
  • 🏃 Tai Chi and SAIL Classes Stay Active & Independent for Life: Wednesdays and Fridays (Edmond Senior Center - Edmond) Start Time: 1:30pm Come join us for these free exercise programs. Tai Chi class is one of the most effective exercises for the health of mind and body. SAIL (STAYING ACTIVE AND INDEPENDENT FOR LIFE) Sail is a fitness program for older adults, which can be done sitting or standing. Performing exercise that improves strength, balance and fitness is critical for…

Saturday, Sep 14th

  • 1st Responders Cook-Off (Lions Park - Blanchard) Join the Blanchard community for an evening of delicious barbecue served in Lions Park. At the 1st Responders Cook-Off, all…
  • The Annie Oakley in Concert (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Head to The Blue Door in Oklahoma City for an intimate performance by The Annie Oakley in the venue's listening room. A…
  • Art Show at DNA Galleries (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Start Time: 6:00pm
  • Bill Hearne Concert And Film (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm
  • Harrah Day (Harrah Heritage Park - Harrah) Day 2 of 2 Come out for a day of family fun at Harrah Day. Begin the day as one of the best parades in the state makes its way through…
  • Edmond Farmer's Market (Festival Marketplace - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00am
  • 🎨 Film Education & Exploration Center at Norman Film Fest (Mainsite - Norman) Start Time: 12:00pm The Film Education & Exploration Center is a interactive learning space hosted by @[178763831500:274:Pioneer Library System]. This free, all ages venue provides kids with hands-on opportunities to learn about making their own films and videos. Classes are free, open to the public, and first come-first served. 12:00: How to Be a YouTuber 1:30:…
  • Norman Film Festival (Downtown - Norman) Each year, budding artists premiere their films at the Norman Film Festival. Created in 2017, this annual creative…
  • Front Line Poker Run (Citizen Potawatomi Nation Pow Wow Grounds - Shawnee) Honor veterans, law enforcement, fire and emergency medical responders with this fun, 115-mile run and an afternoon of…
  • 🎡 Fun for All Fall Festival (Britton Health Center - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Variety Care will hold a no-cost community event, themed “Fun for All Fall Festival,” Saturday, Sept. 14 from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. at the Britton Health Center, located at 721 W. Britton Road. The fall extravaganza will feature no-cost health and dental screenings, games, and prizes all in celebration of the one-year anniversary of the…
  • A Giving Heritage: Wedding Clothes and the Osage Community (Sam Noble Museum - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am
  • 🎓 Harn Homestead Vendor Fair (Harn Homestead Museum - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm The Harn Homestead is holding it's first Vendor Fair. We have 21 vendors that will showcase our beautiful 10 acres and event barn on historic property. This is a great opportunity to come see all the options the Harn Homestead can provide for your wedding.
  • 😂 John Evans (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
  • Kenny Pitts: Solo // Album Release Party (VZD's - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Join us for the official EP Album Release for Kenny Pitts: Solo and the official RISE of the Raging Peacemakers! If you enjoy local, live Oklahoma music... this is an event you do NOT want to miss.
    Kenny met Zac Maloy of The Nixons at the Oklahoma Songwriter's Fest in 2018. After hearing Kenny's initial songs, Zac was on board to produce the…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Sep 16th Oklahoma State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on…
  • Military Resource Fair (Norman Public Library - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am Veterans service organizations will be on hand to help connect Servicemembers, veterans and their families with resources they want, need and deserve. The benefits offered by these different organizations may be based on criteria each organization uses to improve its focus on specific populations. We welcome all visitors who have served in the…
  • 🎨 Nature Photography Workshop (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm Saturday, September 14, 1pm The Garden Classroom Member $18; Nonmember $24 Doug Hoke, Director of Photography, The Oklahoman Register by Tuesday, September 10 REGISTER HERE Partake in a unique adventure through the viewfinder of your camera. Capture vibrant photos of garden landscapes, flowers, insects, and birds. Class begins indoors and then…
  • Oklahoma Extreme Cowboy Race (Rolling Stone Stables - Shawnee) Day 1 of 2 The Oklahoma Extreme Cowboy Race combines speed and horsemanship as competitors take on roping and working cattle challenges…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • 🎡 Oklahoma State Fair - Performance & Event Venue - Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - 4,407 Reviews - 5,539 Photos | Facebook (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Oklahoma State Fair - 3001 General Pershing Blvd, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 73107 - Rated 4.2 based on 4,407 Reviews
  • Oklahoma Stories (Civic Center Music Hall - Oklahoma City) Enjoy the work of trumpet player Matilda Lloyd as part of the Oklahoma City Philharmonic's Classic Concert Series. Held…
  • Rescue Me 5K Run/Walk for Life (Mitch Park - Edmond) Grab the family and lace up your running shoes for the Rescue Me 5K Run/Walk for Life. Starting at Edmond's Mitch Park,…
  • Resurrection: A Journey Tribute in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Resurrection: A Journey Tribute performs live for the crowd.…
  • Sprouting Chefs: Healthful Mug Cakes (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Sponsored by Sprouts Saturday, September 14, 10-11:30am The Garden Classroom Member $15; Nonmember $17 Toni Washington, Edmond Mobile Meals For families, preferably kids ages 7 and up REGISTER HERE Learn how to make quick and healthful mug cakes without the hassle and time of using an oven. We’ll talk about simple ingredients, like flour,…
  • 🎓 Super Saturday (Sam Noble Museum - Norman) Start Time: 10:00am Join us for an exciting day filled with family fun including crafts, Meet a Scientist, Exploration Station, special guests and more! Go wild as an OU Fit and Rec yoga instructor leads families in animal-themed yoga! Exploration Station, meet a Scientist, a craft and the Spot It! scavenger hunt will take place from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Other special…
  • 🎨 UCO Relief Printmaking Workshop (University of Central Oklahoma - Edmond) Start Time: 10:00am Open to all high school students. Registration fee includes demonstration by UCO faculty, hands-on instruction workshop, materials, lunch and participants keep their personalized artwork. $10 per person. Seating is limited. Register online at
  • Uptown 23rd Patio Parties (Uptown 23rd - Oklahoma City) Explore the Uptown 23rd District in Oklahoma City during lively Patio Parties this fall. At these community-oriented Patio…

Sunday, Sep 15th

  • Art Show at DNA Galleries (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Start Time: 6:00pm
  • Banda Carnaval in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Banda Carnaval performs live for the crowd. Fans can experience…
  • Doo-Wop Glam Shop Classic Car Show (Warr Acres) Head to Warr Acres this September for the sixth annual Doo-Wop Glam Shop Classic Car Show. This public car show, held in the…
  • La Energía Norteña in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before La Energía Norteña performs live for the…
  • Mexican Independence Day Festival (Wiley Post Park - Oklahoma City) Celebrate Mexican Independence Day with culture-rich activities and entertainment. At Fiestas Patrias OKC, listen to…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Oklahoma State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on…
  • Oklahoma Extreme Cowboy Race (Rolling Stone Stables - Shawnee) Day 2 of 2 The Oklahoma Extreme Cowboy Race combines speed and horsemanship as competitors take on roping and working cattle challenges…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…

Monday, Sep 16th

  • Art Show at DNA Galleries (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Start Time: 6:00pm
  • Glen Hansard in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) Oscar-winning artist Glen Hansard is taking over the Tower Theatre in Oklahoma City for a special evening of live music.…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Last Day Oklahoma State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • Unspoken in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before Unspoken performs live for the crowd. Fans can experience a…

Tuesday, Sep 17th

  • Art Show at DNA Galleries (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Start Time: 6:00pm
  • The Grass Roots, the Buckinghams & the Boxtops in Concert (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Spend the afternoon exploring the Oklahoma State Fair before the Grass Roots, the Buckingham and the Boxtops…
  • Oklahoma State Fair (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Sep 22nd Make your way to the Oklahoma State Fair and celebrate the end of summer with endless carnival rides, delicious fair food…
  • Social Repose in Concert (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Social Repose got his start as a YouTube vlogger with a series of original music. When Social Repose performs live, guests…
  • Wizarding World of Tiger Safari (Tuttle) Thru Thu, Oct 31st Harry Potter fans old and young will love the Wizarding World of Tiger Safari in Tuttle. This unique attraction invites…

See Also

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SHOT 2017/My tales of adventure in Las Vegas

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"
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